Touched today.

Oh my God, I want to be with this guy so much that I feel my heart is going to explode from my chest.  I wanted to say so much more to him although, he knew precisely where my emotions were at; when I told him I had something to say to him and, before I even said anything, he said, "I love you too".  He told me how he missed our intimate moments; when he'd pop online from college for a brief glance of my face, a quick log online to say he loved me when the kids were on summer vacation or a stolen few moments enough for a game of dominoes as I missed them too.  I could also feel some of his pain when he said he feels as though I need/could be getting more of what I deserved if I didn't have him in my life.  But what does it mean when they say that?  Is it a nice way of saying, I'm sorry but I feel that I somehow shouldn't be in your life anymore?  This was actually 'before' he told me that he loved me too, besides however, he told me several times today, that he loved me.  Happy as I am for his comfort and happiness, why did I feel a little 'left out' after I called him at work to discover that he was also watching a horror film with his friend while still chatting with me on Facebook?  Some days, I truly feel as though I'm just not seeing the full picture.  Whatever happened to the Saturdays when he'd ask me to turn on my Facebook cam so that he could see my face and watch me throughout the day?  Whatever happened to the guy who would literally order me to go in the cloakroom to play and cum for him?  I can truly say that I believe his wife is so fucking lucky just to have his hand hold hers as he lies beside her.  I would even give so much, just to be able to say a last "goodnight" to him before closing my eyes to sleep.  There is so much more I want to add here but I really must close down the pc for today and maybe I can continue in a few hours.  Wishing you a gnight my love and pleasant dreams.